Kym Lardner

2009-12-12T13:29:00.001+11:00

As some of you might know I have returned from a trip to Europe with beautiful Bobby. London, Paris, Rome and of course Michelangelo's home town; Florence. It was hard to keep in mind that it was not all just a theme park like Disneyland. The Duomo for example. Look how dark and dirty on the right then how clean and bright it looks on the left. It looks new which from a theme park perspective is all wrong. Disney would build something like this then dirty it down for a feeling of authenticity yet here are the Florentines cleaning it all up. What do you think?
500 years of dirt is hard to reproduce. Yet 500 years ago, before so much carbon was in the air, it might have looked clean anyway. What is authentic and what is just dramatic stage craft. Like ageing make up on an actor or using stage smoke to give a scene in a film more atmosphere this dirt makes you realise how old this building is even though it was probably just the last 100 years of pollution that made it this way.

Lovely Melbourne

2009-07-31T01:18:00.003+10:00

I would love to show you progress on the book but Oliver likes to keep his illustrations under wraps till publication day. Something smart about that. Meanwhile here is a cosy image I found while looking around Toorak on Google maps. Do the same and you'll find the photographer's details. I like it because it says so much about what makes Melbourne good. It used to be considered a wet and cold place but our reservoirs are down to 15% capacity so any rain is welcomed and rejoiced over and we have had such sunny days this winter that if you get just the right spot near a sunny window you'll get quite red. No gloomy days anymore.

The trams are it's gondolas and chapel street, seen pictured here, it's playground for the fashionista. There are rich people here but Melbournians are less impressed by wealth than Sydney people are. Sydney snobs would never ride a tram yet in Melbourne millionaires travel to the opera on this transport. They are more down to earth and relaxed here than anywhere I have seen. They work too hard and dress like sparrows and wave when you let them merge into your lane in traffic. They leave each other alone and just get on with minding their own business. Bobby is in love with Melbourne. It is her city now... I heard her say.

Positive energy

2009-03-02T19:55:00.004+11:00

CORRECTION. In my last post I said our deadline came and went. Not true and I'm sorry this hurt my son. He's pro and would have made it. This deadline has been a sliding slithering thing. Our editor at ABC gave us till April 20th 2009 and as I say Oliver would have made that but, sensing we needed more time, she recently changed that to Sept 1st 2009. I don't care when it hits the book stores as long as it's the most beautiful book we can make with our present skill level. As I said to her, during a phone conversation last week, I go slowly and patiently in my career and though I may have wanted to be another Walt Disney I'd need to live till 140 to do everything. Oliver has made more books possible but it is our ABC editor, Belinda Bolliger, who is really driving this push for more books. When I come to think of it I am still uncertain as to why.

Distracting... isn't it?

2009-02-28T12:05:00.003+11:00

The latest book Oliver is illustrating for me, The dragon's lie, goes slowly but his latest toy certainly doesn't. So the deadline came and went and my gracious publisher has instead allowed us to finish by September 1st 2009. PLEASE OLIVER GIVE ME A BOOK BY THEN. As you can see his motivation is low but his happiness level is high. I gave him ALL of the first advance money $4000 but Money did not motivate him to complete the illustrations so I'm all out of ideas. Any suggestions Dan? (I know you read this blog) I don't want to come the guilt trip yet... wouldn't work anyway. I suggested that the virtuoso is his own reward but that notion failed to inspire. If the story was important enough to him perhaps that would make a difference. Having a book in schools and bookshops leaves him unimpressed. Knowing thousands of kids will be receiving this book for Christmas does not move him. I thought making nice pictures was enough of a buzz but that's just me. Oh well. As a young man in the 1980s I found that girls were interested in me because I wrote and illustrated kids books. Their pretty eyes sparkled with interest, they smiled and moved closer when I talked about my latest picture book. Maybe he'll do it for love. Or maybe girls are more impressed these days by small, fast, black, convertible BMWs... Ah phooey ;(

Congratulations Chris

2009-02-15T21:40:00.001+11:00

Chris, originally uploaded by kymlardner.

I know he won't mind if I share a recent email I got from my brother Chris you, my small and trust worthy Brigade of readers.

Hi Kym and Oliver,

Just an update on Perth. It would seem that this little town has exceeded my expectations. Get this, I have taken a job with an international school and I am now involved in international business development. It's really cool because I am going to be flown all over the world starting mid March. I will be flying out to Mumbai India around March 7 followed by trips to Singapore, China, Japan, South Africa and South America. Then I think I have to go to London... All in all I'm quite pleased with the current job. My role is to visit agencies that refer international students to Australian educational institutions and make sure that they are at a standard that is in keeping with certain guidelines set out by Dept of Immigration and the Dept of Education. If the Agent is reputable then I can have them enter into an agreement with the school to refer students however; if the agents seem a little dodgey I advise the school not to proceed with business. Interestingly the first stop is Mumbai which is where the Lardners departed India around 61 years ago. Dad thought that was an interesting irony. I'll keep you posted with my soon to be global galavant...

C.

Publishing interest from Denmark

2009-01-23T02:48:00.003+11:00

Proud Oliver, originally uploaded by kymlardner.

A letter from ABC

Dear Kym,

I’m in charge of overseas sales here at ABC Books and I’m pleased to tell you that I have a Danish publisher who is keen to publish “The Naked Penguin” in Denmark.

They would print 1,000 copies and would pay a royalty of 6% of their retail price. The advance they are offering is AUD$1,500 a percentage of which would be on-paid to you as per your contract. I’m keen to go ahead with this deal if you are agreeable?

Best wishes
International Sales and Production Manager
ABC Books | ABC Commercial

Dragon Dummy

2008-12-14T18:44:00.004+11:00

I made this full sized colour pencil dummy so Oliver and our editor at ABC Books, Belinda Bolliger, could get a better idea of what this story is about. Oliver said it helped, Belinda read it to her little boy who didn't get it and I realised my initial idea was not quite there anymore.

Back to the old drawing board

I'll do another and rework the words and a few of the images and then see how it hangs together. I guess it's all part of the challenge of making any work. If it were easy more people would attempt it.

Whale

2008-12-04T19:48:00.000+11:00

A New Sky

2008-12-02T13:19:00.003+11:00

Bobby didn't like the "sky with nude" painting I did 20 years ago and which I thought looked good in my autumnal coloured lounge room. I thought it kind of pulled the room together like the rug in The Big Lebowski. When I removed it the room fell apart.

Bobby had her reasons and those are for another blog another time. She became upset every time I put it back on the wall. I felt confident that she might grow to love it as I did or at least understand the need for blue in a mostly timber and beige room.

So with this new canvas I have achieved a win-win situation. Obama would approve. I painted another sky, sans nude. Ta da

I'm back

2008-11-30T13:47:00.003+11:00

It has been a long time since the ABC closed their audio dept. and unceremoniously put an end to the distribution of my 65min 'father and son stories' CD. Not to be too harsh, the head of Audio at the time did revert the copyright to me as a farewell gesture. This was later questioned by the ABC legal dept but an arrangement was agreed to and a fee of $250 charged. I also agreed to grant ABC nonexclusive rights to distribute digitally should they decide to do so. They will have to hurry to catch iTunes but I wish them good luck.

Last week I was excited to parcel up the copies I've had duplicated locally, two by two in bubble wrap, as instructed by the national buyer and send them to ABC head office in Ultimo Sydney. Each also wrapped in a brochure and an invoice addressed to each of the ABC Shops around Australia. We will share 50/50 the $2550 RRP total this order makes.

Out of my half I will pay per disc the GST of $1.13 , the picture disc duplication including crystal cases $1.28 Also .67cents to print the CD covers .26cents postage and .06cents of bubble wrap. I'll make $9.11 each disc. Perviously I made $2.50 per disc as a royalty but did none of this messing around. The ABC did everything.

For now it has been fun doing it all but to be sensible I should hand it over to a volume distributor.

The discs look beautiful and sound better that ever. I wonder what other artist have done since ABC Audio closed.

No acknowledgement to Norman

2008-11-26T17:15:00.005+11:00

I know it is hard to be original and as a youngster I used to do this but you don't expect ideas to be ripped off like this, watered down and presented as ones own with no apologies by those in publishing. This is the cover of a book by a TV breakfast presenter at the Fox network. I would have at least mentioned my apologies to Norman Rockwell whose painting "Sunday Morning" I've placed here for comparison.

Merry go round coincidence

2008-11-24T00:39:00.004+11:00

Oliver and I went to the Melbourne Zoo today to conduct research for our dragon book which is set in a zoo. As we walked around taking reference shots of wall surfaces and cages etc we passed by a beautiful antique Merry Go Round which they have installed there for the kids. It's a very slow one and not as exciting as the elephant rides I remember taking as a child at the Adelaide zoo but it was lovely to watch.

As we stood watching I vaguely recalled reading about a Hitchcock film with a run away carrousel in it. I told Oliver how Hitch was very nervous for the stunt man who played the part of the brave chap who crawled under the spinning deck to reach the controls in an attempt to stop the thing spinning off its axis.

Anyway we had lunch and continued our zoo visit. It was a fun day.

Tonight, as I sat down to watch a bit of TV, I found myself watching a Hitchcock movie on Fox Classics. As I watched I wondered if by some wild chance this was the film. I waited for any hint of a fairground scene but it seemed unlikely till right at the end and there it was. As if the god of coincidences was saying "Was this the film you had in mind sir?" As I watched 'Strangers on a train' I marvelled, mouth agape, at the coincidence that had taken place.

I know Jung may not have had this in mind when he postulated his concept of syncronicity but he at least tried to explain these strange occurrences.

Then there is an alternative explanation. Perhaps I'm sleeping or in a coma and this life around me is a dream of my own invention.

Bobby hates me talking like this?

Strange indeed. See the run away merry go round here

No ABC logo

2008-11-08T14:45:00.004+11:00

Sadly the Australian Broadcasting Corporation ABC has closed their audio department now only selling BBC titles. So while you'll be able to buy old recordings of the Goon Show no Australian work, like my own, will be available.

I'm not sure what this says about what we think of ourselves. Maybe it's a sign of our times as the young listen to the radio less and less. Marshall McLuhan called radio the tribal drums. The mood of a nation could be determined by listening to talk back radio but as has been demonstrated by the Obama win, where most under 30 years olds voted for him, there is a new way for us all to know what most of us are thinking. Opinionated shock jocks have an dwindling and ageing audience. The Obama team used the internet like JFK used TV in 1962.

And so radio or listening without pictures may be something only favoured by the blind or drivers keeping their eyes on the road...Or illustrators working away at their images and wanting a change from the usual mood music. Jazz in my case.

So now that the copyright of my recordings have reverted to me I have had 500 discs duplicated and as you can see, with no ABC logo. I have been heartened that the ABC shop buyer Sophie Higgins wants 100 copies for the shops. I have become the supplier and get 50% RRP instead of my usual 10% royalty. Other artists will have to do the same or find another audio publisher. I doubt BBC would be interested. We should be looking after our own.

Perhaps this is a good move for me but distribution remains key to world domination. He He. Watch this space.

Dragon Dummy

2008-11-03T15:05:00.002+11:00

Oliver and I successfully produced the "Naked Penguin" picture book released by ABC Books in May '08. It sold 6,772 copies as of the first royalty statement in June '08. Since then, I'm waiting for stats, but the publisher has only a few hundred copied left and was considering pressing the reprint button.

Our next book is the "Dragon's Lie" Due for release May 2009. As part of my contribution to the process, writing and story boarding, I am preparing a full size colour dummy to inspire Oliver and to show our editor Belinda Bolliger. I have enjoyed this and surprised myself. I didn't know I could still draw. I realise how hamstrung I was by my line and ink technique. Colour pencil is so much more freeing.

Meanwhile Oliver purchased a new back lit drawing tablet which he says will speed up his part of the process. We will need to be speedy as final art is due December 23rd. We will probably go full time when the $4000 advance arrives from the ABC.

New Guitar

2008-10-22T10:19:00.003+11:00

My performances lately have been spoilt by a guitar that won't stay in tune. I'd tune up before the show only to find that when I grabbed the thing to play it was out of tune again. I would have to lower the volume of my playing and up the volume of my voice to cover the awful bum notes I was producing. My audience of children may not have noticed but I want to give a quality show so my opinion of myself doesn't suffer.

I was always amazed at the way Leo Kottke could tune up between songs on stage while at the same time cracking jokes and telling stories. It takes all my concentration to tune a guitar and that stops the momentum of my show which normally speeds along at a cracking, well rehearsed pace.

Unlike Kottke's axe mine was only a cheap $100 Yamaha which I knew would get knocked around by kids at my shows. Lately I have been wanting to feel that youthful joy I felt in the 70s playing a beautiful sounding guitar I could not afford to buy. So before my recent tour to Yeppoon Queensland I walked into a Music shop in Chapel street.

All the shiny new guitars hung along the walls, as feelings of youth returned. A lot like the rubber smell of a bike shop returns me to age 14. Some shops are funny about customers helping themselves to try out the merchandise and place signs that tell you to ask for assistance. On this occasion I had money and maturity on my side. I confidently grabbed anything I wanted and picked a few notes on each. I was aware that disappointment showed on my face as I replaced the first few cheap guitars back on their racks. I was only slightly aware that I was being watched by the shop keeper. Toward the rear of the shop I discovered where all the $1000 guitars were hiding. A fellow with dreadlocks had set up camp back there and was hammering a steel string he was saving up for and meanwhile got to play quite a bit in store. I continued around him looking for my darling.

I picked up my first $1000 guitar and was amazed to find it sounded no better than the cheap ones at the front of the shop. I grabbed another and this time was delighted with the bassy tones, crisp trebles and smooth handling. In the midst of my enjoyment I heard a voice from behind the counter say "That's a beautiful guitar" as if it were one of his children. He went on to tell me it was Spanish and I agreed that if they couldn't make a good flamenco who could. "And 25% off all our classicals today" he said and tapped a few numbers into a calculator "$900 is a good price for that guitar" That's when I reached into my back pocket and with a little thrill of superiority said "I'll take it" $900 was all I was planning to spend anyway.

It has a pick up in the bridge and I have enjoyed plugging it into the stereo for little dreamy jam sessions in the bedroom, pretending to be Kottke while Bobby lays back on the big cumfy pillows smiling. I once told her I used to seduce girls with my guitar like this. She now sees how that worked.

I love being young again.

Father's Day

2008-09-07T23:31:00.003+10:00

Today Oliver and I went to see "The Red Balloon" at the Astor Theatre. It's a film from my childhood made in 1956 and I was glad to introduce Oliver to it. I like to show Oliver important works. He gets a lot out of things I show him and years later I'll hear him make reference to them in conversation or in his work.

Of course he is making works of his own and, with me, kids books that his own children will enjoy. I think he likes the process of creating them and then hearing responses from the public. It will be fun bringing the next one to life "The Dragon's Lie".

Naked Penguin is launched

2008-06-26T03:09:00.001+10:00

Signing, originally uploaded by kymlardner.

Tonight Oliver experienced his first book launch. Many came from South Australia to be there including his good and talented friend Dan. His mum and all his four brothers and one sister we there. My mum and dad made a 4 day holiday out of it. The ABC shop in Chadstone made us feel special and Craig Smith officially launched the Penguin.

I really should have made a few notes instead of speaking off the cuff. There were so many important things to say that I feel I did not express. Things like how wonderful and rare it is for a father and son to collaborate on a children's book. How by standing on our shoulders our children can see better for both of us. How each generation betters the last by learning from the former and adding on.

I would have loved to have mentioned many things that I though of in the shower in the days leading up to tonight. Just a few notes to make sure I covered everything would have been wise.... next time

And I love that there will be a next time. Thanks Oliver

We now have our sights on our dragon book due December 15th. The creative challenges that seem tough now will melt under our blow torch of persistence. Oliver has learnt much doing this book. The next will show this.

Magdalena Ball review

2008-05-30T20:10:00.001+10:00

Magdalena Ball review, originally uploaded by kymlardner.

It’s a fairly common theme in children’s books, but one which can’t really be repeated too often. It’s okay to be different. It’s more than okay to be different – difference is something to be enjoyed, celebrated and shared. Kym Lardner’s new book The Naked Penguin, presents that theme with an ever-popular penguin setting. Little penguin is cute as can be, but he’s different from the other penguins, because he doesn’t have a white chest. Because he’s different, he’s left out of other penguin games, until he suddenly accepts his own difference, and then guess who joins in.

It isn’t the other penguins who change in this book, it’s little penguin, and the move from “leave him behind” to “joins in” is a character change which young children will relate to and learn from. Lardner handles the theme with delicacy and style, and the realisation is subtle. Oliver Lardner’s wonderful illustrations work perfectly with his father’s text, managing a perfect balance between the adorable naivety of the animals, and the realism of the water and sky that surround them. There’s a lovely softness as the light changes from sharp to hazy in the book, and water turns from olive green to rich clear turquoise or the air and ice goes from lilac to grey to the orange and eggplant of sunset. Life in the Antarctic is portrayed richly, with polar bears arctic subs, a great blue whale, seagulls, dolphins and icebergs. There are also plenty of funny things, from a skiing kangaroo (famous, naturally), to a bird with a multicoloured tuft.

Little Penguin’s father’s advice comes at just the right moment in this beautifully presented and moving story, which will appeal to children from 2 to 8 or so. The vocabulary is simple enough for early readers to handle, and older siblings can read it to younger ones.

Magdalena Ball is the author of Sleep Before Evening, The Art of Assessment, and Quark Soup.

Oliver's Dragon design

2008-05-30T01:22:00.001+10:00

Oliver's Dragon design, originally uploaded by kymlardner.

ABC have offered us another book contract. Thanks Belinda.

The Dragon's lie. Final art due December 15th 2008

Oliver has already started thinking about the character design. I lent him one of my old Disney text books but I think this dragon is all his.

This should be fun.

DVD

2008-05-22T10:39:00.005+10:00

I must say how much I am enjoying designing my own stuff now. Digital Images go straight from my computer into the design now. Gone are the days of scanning and entrusting printers with transparencies. This cover photo of this DVD was lost by a printer in 1994. It's furry here and will be in the final because Oliver had to scan it from an old printed slick from 1994.

Anyway I am enjoying all this.

Look what arrived today

2008-05-13T16:17:00.001+10:00

Look what arrived today, originally uploaded by kymlardner.

And here is a date for your diary. June 25th 5.45pm Chadsone ABC shop for the official launch of Naked Penguin in Australia. i think everyone who buys a book should get one of these posters

Bye Ollie

2008-04-15T19:59:00.002+10:00

Bye Ollie, originally uploaded by kymlardner.

Sadly Oliver Johnston passed away today. One of my heroes.

Proud Oliver

2008-04-15T19:03:00.004+10:00

Waiting is part of book making but at last bulk copies of the Naked penguin arrived from Hong Kong. Yesterday Oliver came over and saw them arrive. I came home from a brief supermarket run to see the boxes unopened in the hall way. He was waiting to share the joy together. We found many variations in the colour of the covers. I suspect printing is a dirty, inexact process. Oliver took hold of 10 copies immediately for 'promotional purposes' Had me sign them. He would have taken them home but for the realisation that books are actually quite heavy, as anyone with them with remember when they move house. Off he went to catch a tram home. He was planning to look for a chesterfield with me but I declined. I have to use my day time hours productively while Bobby and Chris are not here. So off he went and I put my head down. Bookings are coming in and I'm playing my own secretary.

The Penguin has landed

2008-04-15T19:00:00.001+10:00

The Penguin has landed, originally uploaded by kymlardner.

Now I'm ready to sell on line right out of my hall cupboard

2008-04-03T14:51:00.002+11:00

I got a good review the other day. Here it is.

One of my memorable moments as a teacher librarian was when Master 5 (who had been at school about six weeks) came in and asked for "that book about the teddy that looks like me."

We do get some obscure requests at times, but this one was not as hard as it first seemed, because my assistant and I looked at the Master 5 and then looked at each other and said together,

"Arnold the Prickly Teddy."

Because this little chap did bear an uncanny resemblance to the star of this delightful picture book about a teddy who was left on the toyshop shelf because his fur was prickly. I had shared it with his class but someone else borrowed it before he did.

But there was more than just a physical likeness between Master 5 and Arnold, for Master 5 was also intellectually different from his peers and some of his behaviours set him apart so that when it came to a lot of group activities in school, he was also "left on the shelf." Perhaps Master 5 knew of this affinity with Arnold but couldn't articulate it. Whatever the reason, Arnold the Prickly Teddy went home with Master 5 several times that year, usually when he had been through a rough patch at school . It was though he was seeking reassurance that one day he'd be just like the others and loved and accepted for who he was.

Come Term 4 and Master 5 (who was now Master 6) came and asked for another book. "Arnold is back on the shelf. Would you like that one too?" we asked. "No, that's okay," he said. "Arnold's happy now and so am I."

Kym Lardner has a knack of writing and illustrating what appear to be simple stories, yet not too far beneath the surface there lies a profound concept that really speaks to our children. In this collection of four stories, each appears to be a simple tale but each is much richer than this and offers scope for discussions about how we think and feel.

The Sad Little Monster and The Jelly Bean Queen is about the effect of a smile;

Grandpa's Horses is about that special bond between grandfather and grandson

And The Coat-hanger Horse explores the power of the imagination.

Because of the depth in these stories, younger children will enjoy hearing them over and over, and then being able to read them for themselves as the large text, simple vocabulary and rich illustrations all support beginning readers. A great addition to the home or school library.

Barbara Braxton
Teacher Librarian
COOMA NSW 2630
AUSTRALIA

Telstra line rental $29.95 pm

2008-02-29T18:20:00.002+11:00

After hearing static and screwy sounds whenever we had a telephone conversations we wondered if perhaps something might be done to improve things. I often don't think to complain and put up with things without noticing a deterioration in a situation. My uncle Tom is putting up with debilitating knee pain when a simple titanium replacement would make him feel young again but he does nothing. This thinking could apply to past relationships too.

Anyway... Bobby first noticed this phone trouble and that was enough for me to give 'service faults' a call. The girl on the other end was pleasant enough as she explained that if the fault lay within our residence and not with their line a $105 fee would be charged if a technician was called out . I'm not a gambling man but sometimes with money I just say, like Peter Sellers did in 'The party' 'Well I'm on a diet but Oh! to hell with it'

This morning we heard a pounding on the back door and by the time I opened it the man from Telstra was making his way impatiently down the stairs again. He looked back up at me and declared that he had found a fault in the cable between our place and the street. Ah ha...their fault... no $105 fee.

As he laboured and I made coffee I looked down from our kitchen just in time to see what appeared to be a birds nest hit the pavement. A few moments he declared the problem fixed. When asked if he had replaced the faulty cable he told me no. Instead he had put me on a different line. How high tech I thought.

This afternoon I went down stairs to see this famous 'line' that carries our internet, overseas calls and contact with the outside world and look what I saw. This is what has been servicing the whole building since 1930. This is what the Telstra technician seemed content to leave, this is what I pay $29.95 every month for. No this is not a photograph from a third world country or not a part of a building in India. This is Australia 2008.

So much for the IT revolution in modern Australia. I guess it will have to be a wireless revolution because the birds have been pecking out the wires to make a nest. If you have Telstra shares this is what you have bought. A third world birds nest of copper wire.

Brochure 2008

2008-02-23T11:55:00.003+11:00

Baden Smith designed my last full colour brochure in 1998. Ten years older I needed something new so as to avoid the shocked faces of librarians seeing this grey, older man arrive to speak to their children. Therefore Oliver wiped up this new one. I Think there is nothing wrong with a 50 year old man entertaining little kids with stories you understand. I just don't like performers misrepresenting themselves. I'll get another brochure when I'm 60. Until then here is an update.

Brochure 2008

2008-02-23T11:37:00.002+11:00

Oliver

2008-02-18T16:31:00.003+11:00

This is a screen shot from a video off the Herald Sun website reporting on the recent Sorry Day event at Fed Sq Melbourne as spotted by a friend of Oliver's in Norway. Such is our connectivity now. It really is global.

Proof

2008-02-02T18:12:00.000+11:00

Now that he's completed the illustration of "Naked Penguin" Oliver has recently had the pleasure and pride of checking the colour proofs. Here he is noticing a fault. Seeing the first hard back copies will be the real treat.

Famous Five

2008-01-31T23:44:00.000+11:00

This photograph records a rare event. The coming together of the five children of Phil and Barbara. On this occasion the reason was happy... a wedding for Christopher. He's the one folding his arms at the back of this photo. Bobby is seen here at the front. Will she be next to marry... me?

We were thinking a honeymoon in Rome but I think that organising and paying for that, a wedding and moving house all around Christmas may be more stress than we deserve to bring down upon our own heads in one year. Instead we may just go to Rome in September.

This way we will see what the relationship is made of. We will come back more in love or less willing to stay together. That is important data to have. I have an Idea we're made for each other and that it is family that prevent us going forward. This fear may dissolve as I meet them or if we elope.

Which do you think we should do?

Oliver working

2007-12-12T17:02:00.001+11:00

Oliver working, originally uploaded by kymlardner.

Oliver is working long hours now. Not on the Naked penguin, which is in the hands of the ABC designer for the pre-press operations, but on another project that will gain him much prestige. I'll wait for him to tell everyone about it.

Oliver at home

2007-11-21T11:05:00.000+11:00

It's great having him around. His future is so bright. His first picture book is being released next year by ABC Children's Books, There are no impediments to going overseas and he can make money with his trusty Apple laptop and his flair for Flash. A very marketable skill in our world today. Onward and upward. Christmas is here.

My book is done...but

2007-11-11T00:20:00.001+11:00

My book is done...but, originally uploaded by kymlardner.

The sales staff at ABC Books are uncomfortable with using the word Naked on the cover of a kids book and want it changed. Anyone who wants to support it's use could help the fight right now with rationale´

I thought sales people knew that what encouraged sales is a little controversy. It never hurt Andy Griffith's Bum series. Oh! for his sales figures. Maurice Sendak had a full frontal Mickey in his Night Kitchen of the 60's and May Gibb's had her nude Gum Nut Babies.

Breaking through consumer indifference in the market is important.

There will be as many parents championing the book with Naked in the title as there will be condemning it. Probably more as we are all getting a bit tired of this conservative evangelical climate anyway. The Bush presidential term is nearly over.

Are we to close Australian Art galleries to children because they might catch sight of a Victorian nude.

This little penguin is clearly not nude. It is hysteria to worry about a word.

Any publicity is good publicity. It will get noticed with this title.

Would you buy a book for your little child with Naked in the title?

What do you think folks?

Completed

2007-11-06T00:41:00.001+11:00

Today is exactly 5 months since Oliver and I started to illustrate The Naked Penguin book and today we finished the job. Oliver reached across the desk, as the final cover art was displayed on his monitor and shook my hand. "Congratulations Dad" he said. I replied "Thank you Oliver for bringing this book to life after 27 years since it was first conceived" Actually it was my mum's favourite of those early efforts I wrote under her roof in Helenslea Avenue all those years ago. We are dedicating it to her. To Nanny.

Basic toy list

2007-11-04T18:23:00.001+11:00

Basic toy list, originally uploaded by kymlardner.

When Oliver was born I wanted him to experience all the sensations and wonders of the world and his toys had to convey this. Not expensive just simple items that represented something wonderful about the world. Concepts like magnetism, clockwork energy storage, compressing air, momentum, gyroscopic balance, imagination, prisms and lenses, modularity and others were represented in this box of toys. With some thought every father can reverse engineer all the concepts of man into a box of toys. See how you go Jay.

Approaching deadline but still steady

2007-11-01T22:53:00.000+11:00

Oliver is wrapping up this Penguin book nicely. It has been promised to ABC Books on Monday but being Melbourne cup Tuesday I guess we can have till Wednesday... isn't that how deadlines work.... Gulp!

Rice cooker

2007-11-01T11:24:00.001+11:00

Rice cooker, originally uploaded by kymlardner.

In 2001 I had a spare room while Oliver was in Japan for a year. My brother said he knew someone who needed accomodation for a short time. Turned out to be a beautiful19 year old blonde, blue eyed German girl working for BMW. Shortly after that I got myself a Honda Jazz to which she exclaimed "Oh you got yourself a rice cooker" This was the disparaging discription of my new car. I still have the Jazz and though I do feel a little unsafe in it at high speeds with it's little wheels, narrrow wheel base and tall profile, I still think it is a good car for our times. It does 100km on 7 litres of fuel. One day BMW might take up the challege of making a car for our times also. Well done Honda.

7Days

2007-10-29T00:08:00.000+11:00

So we have 7 days to complete the remaining 5 illustrations. Oliver is working well and impressing everyone.

The Clock

2007-10-16T16:17:00.001+10:00

The Clock, originally uploaded by kymlardner.

When Bobby and I first became engaged after knowing each other for only 2 months there was uncertainty and we wondered if perhaps we had moved too fast. One night I caught this old war time movie on TCM about an even faster couple. They rush through the legalities to be married before he has to leave again to fight and maybe die for his country.

The part that got me is when they become separated not knowing each others names. The prospect of never seeing each other again panics them and then crystalizes their feelings about each other. They luckily join up again when they remember to return to the place where they first met. Under the same department store clock.

After a rushed and ugly wedding in an office they mounfully walk past a church where a joyful, newly married bride and groom are just coming out with flowers, friends and family. They silently go in and sit down, sad and stunned at the contrast with their own rushed arrangement.

Alice, played with great pathos by Judy Garland, picks up and reads from a sheet of paper left behind.

Dearly beloved.
We are gathered together here in the sight of God and in the face of this company to join together this man and this woman in holy matrimony which is an honourable estate and therefore is not, by any, to be entered into unadvisedly or lightly but reverently, discreetly, advisedly, soberly and in the fear of God.

She reads on...

Wilt thou have this woman to thou wedded wife. Wilt thou love her, comfort her in sickness and in health and forsaking all others keep thee only unto her as long as yee both shall live?

He answers "I will" and as if doing things again properly this time continues the reading .

"I take thee Alice to my wedded wife to have and to hold from this day forward for better and for worse for richer or for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish till death do us part."

Both read on...

Our Father who art in heaven hallowed be thy name. Thy kingdom come, thy will be...

They stop there and she says:

"Oh Joe... I love you... I'll love you till the day I die."

The next scene is morning in a hotel room as they finish breakfast and contemplate the events of the previous day.

Joe says: Alice... try and ...will you try not to think about anything...

She picks up his concern and already starts to fullfill that vow of comforting her husband.

She says "Darling ...you're coming back ...you want me to tell you how I know? Two days ago you came to this city and you didn't know anyone, you didn't know me and I didn't know you and now we're married. Now we both know that was meant to be... so don't you see... whoever makes the arrangements for people is doing pretty well for us...

...that's all we need to know

Later he catches the train back to camp and she walks back down the platform station as if wondering whether it may have all been just a dream...

She is happy though that he is coming back and she has made the right decision.

Me too and I wondered if those old fashioned words that she read in the church would be ok for our wedding.

The exact same words were read by Katherine Hepburn in The Philadelphia story, a movie I watched a few nights after The Clock.

These coincidences are spooky some times.

Engaged 14 Months Today

2007-10-11T14:21:00.001+10:00

Or 15 Months and 1 week by Lunar calendar according to Bobby. It is little differences like this between us that may mean we will not be engaged for much longer. In fact Bobby took off the Tiffany's ring again yesterday in memory of my over reaction to her thinking that a month had 4 weeks in it. At the time I frowned and scoffed at such a concept and explained that the year would have 13 months in it if that were the case. By the moon it does. Month means Moon anyway. So in a way she is closer to the truth than I. Still it disturbed me that she counted months in that way and still insists she is right and I am wrong.

Moon...June... Honeymoon... All these words go with betrothal to wed quite well. So maybe it is appropriate. So I count by the sun, she by the moon. I'm an Aries Sun sign and she is a woman whose cycle is controlled by the moon.

I think two people ought to be able to laugh off such differences of opinion but Bobby ends up feeling insulted as my manner is too harsh when I point out these things. She thinks I think she is stupid. On the contrary I think she has an uncanny ability to read people's emotional state, a theatrical gift, a great sense of fun and makes me laugh, normally an appealing quality in men and unusual in women. She can draw. She is smart and I love her...she is just young and has been shielded from science by attending a Christian school. I love introducing her to the world of ideas and concepts she has not yet encounted. I enjoy showing her art and music she has not known about. I just have to learn to do it with gentle kindness instead of pomposity. I'm learning good stuff like this by being with her. I look forward to learning more from this marvellous young woman.

By the way the first Photo was taken by a passing jogger in Sydney August 10th 2006 the day before I asked her to marry me. The second photo was taken October 1st 2007 in the Tasmanian wilderness. I hope we find our way out of the wilderness of confusion about our relationship before she actually packs her bags and leaves me.

We begin

2007-06-05T23:01:00.000+10:00

Oliver and I have finally sat down with our children's book project for the ABC and look what a brilliant start my young son has made. I sit at his elbow, as I often did with Baden Smith on projects where I had ideas but not the technical nor skill level to achieve what I knew I wanted in my head, consulting on colour and character design. I also have the original meaning of the story in my head so advise Oliver about that too. Having said that I must point out that Oliver brings illustrative ability that I did not know he possessed. He did not attend art school, is self taught and continues to surprise all of us with his ability.

I call myself a children's book writer and illustrator but have not touched the art boards for 15 years. My watercolour technique was so difficult that I just did not have the heart to do another after the last one was published in 1992. I decided to continue with the more lucrative storytelling in schools and give my resourses to Oliver to advance his creativity. I paid for all the photoshop courses and the latest Macs and he soon became a web designer specializing in flash.

I did invent more stories and prepared little colour pencil dummies but my publisher, Bert Hingley at Hodder's, retired and I was not liked as much by his replacement. She was a snooty woman from Harper's and brought her own pet authors from there to her new job. As I said I was not sure I could illustrate again anyway. I imagined someone more skilled would do that for me. Little did I know it would be my own son. That 15 years of building and supporting his talent came back to me and with this new project I feel back in business.

I hope I'm not too difficult to work with.

jmr 2

2007-06-01T15:01:00.001+10:00

jmr 2
Originally uploaded by sudden applebottom

This photo, found on Flickr, reminds me of myself as a young man creating art. It also reminds me of my son Oliver who has taken up that mantle as he approches the illustration of a book soon.

mantle 1 |ˈmantl|

2 an important role or responsibility that passes from one person to another : the second son has now assumed his father's mantle. [ORIGIN: with allusion to the passing of Elijah's cloak (mantle) to Elisha (2 Kings 2:13).]

COME OUT

2007-05-05T14:42:00.000+10:00

I'm off to Adelaide to be part of the Come out Festival

To begin...

2007-04-30T11:24:00.000+10:00

Today I promised my son, Oliver, that I would at last paint some sky backgrounds for the children's picture book we are doing for the ABC The Naked Penguin. We have spent the $4000 advance and have another $4000 due to us on completion of finished art. Emphasis on "finished". We have to get started yet. I have been holding things up with my terror of illustrating again after 15 years. That last book took my well known patience to it's breaking point. It did not break and the result is still my best book to date "The Coat-hanger Horse" However the terror remains somewhat. I washed 15 years of dust from the bottles and as they stood drying on the sink I looked down apon them as if staring at intruments of torture I had once endured.

Of course this is where my brave son comes in. He will composite, in his computer, the elements I have designed, perfecting the finished line art and use the backgrounds, I am now to create with my water colours, to produce a book by November 1st 2007. No error need hold up the work but mearly vanished with the undo function. Perfect backgrounds will not be spoilt by subsequent images drawn on to of them that are not right. No more scalpel, frisket, latext masking fluid, tracing and retracing drawings onto Bainbridge board or having to start all over again because the pen nib splattered black ink over a nearly completed illustration. With these new working methods things should move more easily and quicker. BUT I still have to begin. For the love of my son alone I shall do this.

Inks

2007-04-30T11:22:00.001+10:00

Inks
Originally uploaded by kymlardner.

Expensive German inks. Luma colours.

Sables

2007-04-30T11:21:00.001+10:00

Sables
Originally uploaded by kymlardner.

Here they lay ready for my command, my ridiculously expensive sable hair brushes.

Bainbridge board

2007-04-30T11:20:00.001+10:00

Bainbridge board
Originally uploaded by kymlardner.

Here it stands accusingly waiting for me to create some sky effects for The Naked penguin book

Plane

2007-04-21T11:21:00.000+10:00

My Grandfather had one of these. I was but a child and It struck me as the most wonderful thing I had ever seen to that point. I had no way of understanding what it did but it's oily, heaviness in my hands was an experience I'll remember always. Later I came to know more and used one to make furniture. I later included an illustration of one in one of my books. I found this illustration in the IMac dictionary. I love this lino cut version..but don't get me started in that topic...perhaps for another post.

Hard rubbish birthday

2007-04-19T18:06:00.000+10:00

Today I am 50 years old. Yesterday was the last day of my 40's. It was also the last day for hard rubbish to be put out on the curb for collection by Stonington Council. Both these days proved difficult for me. Looking back at the 40's and looking into my garage with Oliver at every little piece of memorabilia that needed a decision. To throw or not to throw. Which memeories to forget which little talisman to retain. Everything in my garage has some significance. Oliver was brave. He even threw out a cardboard plane he made. This afternoon I started feeling sad about that plane, busted wing and all. I Grabbed the camera and headed downstairs to photograph it a least... BUT IT WAS GONE. Collected, no doubt, by a boy passing by with an appreciation for the work and difficulty it represented.

Oliver and I are embarking on a project together which is taking a deal of courage to begin. A picture book. The Naked Penguin. Oliver is helping me overcome some demons, reasons why I have not illustrated for 15 years. He has invited me twice over to start the water colour skies but I have suffered immobilization both times.

We will get there but the longest journey begins with a single step.

The trouble with Harry

2007-03-07T05:25:00.001+11:00

The trouble with Harry
Originally uploaded by kymlardner.

My favourite Hitchcock film.

I'm shopping for glasses

2007-03-06T20:16:00.001+11:00

I'm shopping for glasses
Originally uploaded by kymlardner.

I think these are what I want but can Jude Law make anything look good. He also wore glasses in his last movie "The Holiday" . Those did not look so good.

Bachelor Father

2007-03-04T03:01:00.001+11:00

Bachelor Father
Originally uploaded by kymlardner.

Does this remind you of anyone? i was very taken by this TV show of the 1960's. I must have been at a sensitive age because John Forsythe struck me as a role model I would later become myself. First with Oliver and now with Bobby in a way. This girl even looks like Bobby. The age difference here was 25 years. It's only 20 between Bobby and I.

As for my looking like Mr. Forsythe.... Shut up!

Miss Moneypenny only works in the office

2007-03-04T00:59:00.001+11:00

Miss Moneypenny only works in the office
Originally uploaded by kymlardner.

I saw the new James Bond film on the strength of the very dynamic poster with Daniel Craig looking like he had some dirty work to do on Her Majesty's Service and wanted to get it over and done. He looked like he was in a splendidly foul mood.

I liked the ritual of Bond flirting with Miss Moneypenny at HQ. Taking her out of the usual office scene then killing her off was most unsporting of Mrs. Broccoli. I wonder if old Al would have approved that ?

As I was saying to Terry, the manager of the Astor theatre who always gives me a free coffee by the way, I have fond memories of seeing most 007 film in the family car rugged up with a thermos of coffee, Russian toffee and Mum, Dad and three kids in a VW. The soundtrack crackling atmospherically from the tiny hook-on speaker box that people would often drive off with after the movie. These joyous associations attach themselves to movies and no new Bond film will ever cut it again.

EQUUS...with Harry this time?

2007-03-04T00:33:00.001+11:00

EQUUS...with Harry this time?
Originally uploaded by kymlardner.

Help... My beloved Equus in the hands of squeeky voiced Daniel Radcliffe. I suppose this lad who played Harry Potter will be urged to make a film version of Peter Shaffer's fantastic play, which he is now in London performing. Every young man should see the first film version. But who could replace Richard Burton as the shrink, the good Dr. Dysart ? Jeremy Irons perhaps ? No doubt many12 year old girls in London will be trying to sneek into a performance to see Harry Potter's willy for there are several nude scenes. Perhaps he has a magic wand intead.

oliver on his first skateboard

2007-03-04T00:17:00.001+11:00

oliver on his first skateboard
Originally uploaded by kymlardner.

Oliver my, 23 year old only son, is still very much in Germany. You can follow his trail here.
In this photo he is all protected from the world. He was rendered immobile, however, and I feel his life has been about having the courage to get out into the world and be mobile.

He is a great boy.

Kat and Chris

2007-02-04T14:28:00.000+11:00

Kat and Chris, originally uploaded by kymlardner.

Kat is a lovely new addition to the Lardner fold.

$120 woodern fish

2007-01-18T00:30:00.000+11:00

$120 woodern fish, originally uploaded by kymlardner.

I bought a few of these articulated fish in Hobart Tasmania. I gave one to my sister Cheryl this Christmas. I wondered if I should tell her it's price and that a craftsman had made only a limitted number of them and that they were not mere mass produced toys from China. I watched her open her gift with some delight and she held it in her hand for a long time while watching others open their presents. I'd love to know if she grew to enjoy and value this extravagant gift. I want to know if value equals price paid.

Kym Lardner

2006-12-12T02:04:00.000+11:00

Kym Lardner, originally uploaded by kymlardner.

Now what ?

Sad eyes

2006-12-06T15:39:00.000+11:00

Sad eyes, originally uploaded by kymlardner.

Bobby is a beautiful young girl yet her confidence can be shaken by me looking at other girls as they pass by in the street or if I talk to them. Her eyes gets so sad. Those eyes that receive and give such joy become the source of her pain.

Maria did not have this problem yet ended up feeling unloved. Was she too affected by it. Alex's blood would boil even if I looked at Michelle Pfeiffer on the cover of a magazine. "Go and get that if you want" she would rant. I remain puzzled by this and my own enduring interest in the female form and visage.

Perhaps with Bobby I will learn the meaning of all this girl watching

2006-11-21T13:58:00.000+11:00

Time and energy

2006-11-21T13:57:00.000+11:00

I've been a storyteller in schools since 1980.

I'm content with my work with children and I'm happy to do it for the rest of my life. It has been repetative year after year but I have traded novelty for depth of understanding of my trade. I'm now the best.

Women come and go and all have helped me with my work even if it is only to stuff envelopes. Cathy and Alex were there for the creation of some of my books. Maria was there during the creation of my ABC recordings. Bobby is here for the end bit. What is the end bit? Is this the end bit?

Does this career continue as it has year after year or has there been shifts and developments toward a final statement?

I want American kids to laugh as Aussie kids have. I could be the next big thing there but how? And why do I want this? The US market is the gold mine for publishing and recording artists. NYC it's fast beating heart. When will I get there?

Sometimes I think I'd better get myself a little self respect and stop wasting time with women like I do. Other times I think love is everything and all there is to life anyway and career is for those without it.

A well balanced life could hold love and career could it not? It may even have time for children, trees, fresh air, parents, music, movies...etc

I have been preoccupied with Bobby lately and I give her a lot of my time and energy. I have let opportunities go by. Just today a teacher in Tasmania told me my publicity should have arrived in October and they have made all their performance bookings for next year. I don't blame Bobby but I have taken my eye off the ball.

I think she is worth it.

I only met her 5 month ago and time will tell but time is passing also. We are going very fast and finding out about each other everyday. I have enjoyed this process and being the girl she is I have learnt much, I did not see before, about my behaviour.

I am going to Brisbane Sunday and I will think more on this. Time away brings perspective...does it not?

22

2006-11-16T23:43:00.000+11:00

22, originally uploaded by kymlardner.

That's my funny little kitchen window up there. Shaped like a diamond. Next to that is the window I look down into the street from. Both are lit late at night sometimes well into the wee hours of the morning.

I have not written here for a long time but just to catch some of you up I should say I have been offered a contract by ABC Books for a new picture book. I'm really not sure I can illustrate anymore but I may give it a go with Oliver's help. It is my mum's favourite book so I may have to do it. Know what I mean? All my old books are being reprinted in one volume. This is nice but I really want to record another CD. I have an idea for a grandma voice. Next year I'll start trying the story live in schools. This will trial it in front of an audience and iron out the weak spots before recording for posterity.

I feel that my storytelling recordings for ABC are more "me" than the illustrating of books and something I do well. Something a lot of author/illustrators cannot do. I am unique in this talent and it is this I think I should concentrate on not books.

Perhaps this is being lazy and I could do this book over the summer when I really don't have much else to do but illustrating is really a little depressing if you don't really love sitting down and seeing a drawing come together after 5 hours alone bent over a desk.

I still think that my editor only offered me this project because she was being friendly. Since I told her about Bobby-Leah she has changed her tune and would happily wriggle out of this commitment if she could do so without losing face. Funny how things get published isn't it.

Perhaps I'd rather spend my summer in the sun, eating curries, watching art films on summer nights and taking it easy.

I'd need glasses to illustrate again anyway and that is an expensive bore.

mmm...maybe my attitude is a little down tonight. I'll check in in a few days if things change.

Oliver laughing 1984

2006-11-09T01:34:00.000+11:00

Oliver laughing 1984, originally uploaded by kymlardner.

Oliver enjoyed the happiest most euphoric experiences as a child...his joy of life is facinating to me to this day.

Kym and Julie

2006-10-26T14:35:00.000+10:00

Kym and Julie, originally uploaded by kymlardner.

Looking at this photo I get a marvelous feeling of history. You young people reading this (Hi Dan) are in the middle of making your history but I feel most of mine is written. I succeeded in making a 25 year career out of storytelling and now publishers are approaching me not the other way round. One can achieve success younger than me but this photo makes me think I am living my happily ever after right now. I have a wonderful son too and a good relationship with my parents and siblings. Julie is my closest and as a team we have become legend. Here's to watching the young (Hi Oliver) do their thing now. Me and Julie shall watch on with a smile remembering when we were young. Here's to a good life. Thanks Jul.

JULIE

2006-10-24T19:56:00.000+10:00

JULIE, originally uploaded by kymlardner.

My sister has a new place to live away from annoying house mates. "Good on yer Jul"

Oliver and Seiji Tanaka

2006-08-17T01:46:00.000+10:00

Oliver and Seiji Tanaka, originally uploaded by kymlardner.

Oliver and Seiji are looking for a place together. Application writing is the snag. Oliver asked me to fill in one form with my grown up hand writing to impress the agent but I declined. I now feel a pang of sadness about this. Oliver has elite keyboard skills and this suits him to this modern world perfectly yet I am more welcome as a tenant than he. My land lord is afraid to put my rent up for fear I move. I pay on time and am looking after the property. I hope the boys find a nice place soon. Meanwhile Oliver is working very hard to earn money and pay off his credit card debt left over from his trip to Thailand.

Tall ships 1987

2006-08-02T19:35:00.000+10:00

Tall ships 1987, originally uploaded by kymlardner.

I love to travel across the wild bass straight to Tasmania but have never done it in anything other that the huge Spirit of Tasmania ferry with it's computerised stablisers, bulk, speed and momentum.

However it might be fun, one day, to ask my friend Mark Ellis to unmoor his boat and sail me across as he did once across the bay to greet the Tall ships.

Mark edited my second video as you may recall.

Do you like me just for my looks?

2006-07-29T00:39:00.000+10:00

Do you like me just for my looks?, originally uploaded by kymlardner.

If we lived our lives at our computers and had relationships that consisted of emails, text messages and long phone calls alone. Would we ask this question?

The mind/body combo is less pure than the communicating mind but eventually physical proximity must come into play influencing what we think of each other. To sniff, and look and touch

But it is important to feel physical attraction and act on it.

Some one or some thing thought it important enough and gave us almost instinctive directives to pair up and mate.Otherwise the physical human race would disappear and we would be spirits communicating with no need for bodies or physical attraction. Like living on-line all our lives perhaps.

Of course there is still the attractive mind.

This age of images and advertising has made us all more shallow but even a hundred years ago there was still such a thing as a pretty girl and a good looking man.

Our modern age has just made us more neurotic about it.

Life drawing

2006-07-28T03:02:00.000+10:00

Life drawing, originally uploaded by kymlardner.

I think very soon I will be getting back into life drawing. In about 11 more days. Here is one I did 10 years ago. A model at the Hawthorne Art Society. It helps if the model inspires you. If you are driven to capture her beauty.

Kym Lardner with a little fan

2006-07-28T02:02:00.000+10:00

Kym Lardner with a little fan, originally uploaded by kymlardner.

Publicity shoot 1994

James Penlidis: Photographer

Bald and Blue

2006-07-26T17:16:00.000+10:00

Bald and Blue, originally uploaded by kymlardner.

I painted this oil in 1984

Oliver's room without Oliver

2006-07-23T02:53:00.000+10:00

Oliver's room without Oliver, originally uploaded by kymlardner.

My flat has a querky design in some ways. It was built by Essendon Lewis, chairman of BHP in the 1930's for his mistress. Toorak in those days must have been full of mistresses. The master bedroom is huge and the kitchen is very small. Almost purpose built wouldn't you say?

Oliver

2006-07-22T14:48:00.000+10:00

Oliver, originally uploaded by kymlardner.

Back on Sunday

Oliver at Vic Cafe Melbourne

2006-07-22T13:03:00.000+10:00

Vic Cafe Melbourne, originally uploaded by kymlardner.

My favourite restaurant

Kym on beach stairs

2006-07-21T21:14:00.000+10:00

Kym on beach stairs, originally uploaded by kymlardner.

The concept of Camping was recently suggested to me as something fun to do. Though I love nature I have a great love of being clean and warm. How will these two extremes find a meeting point. I’m known for my decadence, apparently, so this camping idea would indeed be a challenge to try. I have memories of canvasy tent smells mixing with Smokey camp fire smells mixing with the smell you get when you have no place to bathe. Is that camping or a nightmare from highschool days.

My research goes on.

water wall

2006-07-21T19:27:00.000+10:00

water wall, originally uploaded by kymlardner.

National Gallery Of Victoria entrance

My Birthday BBQ

2006-07-21T19:24:00.000+10:00

My Birthday BBQ, originally uploaded by kymlardner.

On the South bank of the Yarra river Melbourne. Mum, Me, Julie my sister and Dad. It was my birthday.

I turned 49 April 2006

Kym

2006-07-21T18:55:00.000+10:00

Kym, originally uploaded by kymlardner.

In front of the Water Wall at the National Gallery of Victoria

The haircut

2006-07-20T20:21:00.000+10:00

The haircut, originally uploaded by kymlardner.

Someone told me they liked my hair. I thought it was too wild and wooly so went to have it controlled and lost my sense of humour in the process.

Perhaps I shouldn't be completely in control of myself. Perhaps if someone else was doing it with me I'd make better plans.

A Continental pillow laying next to a European one

2006-07-16T00:56:00.000+10:00

My Room, originally uploaded by kymlardner.

I love my sleep and one lady I know likes a good 10 hours to get in all the dreaming she has to do.

Lately I have been talking on the phone long distant to a new warm friend late at night. Without fail she complains of a sleepless night after these calls. It's not always directly my doing but I do stir a lot of existing issues for her when in conversation late at night.

As a night owl I am at my conversational top speed later in the evenings so I tend to force a lot of data through that phone line and into that tiny pink feminine ear. On the other hand If she chose to talk to me in the morning she might hear what early man must have used for language.

Meanwhile I have had a few sleepless nights myself lately. Being sleep deprived is not a pleasant feeing and work the next day suffers. I wonder how many people walking, driving and operating heavy machinery are sleep deprived. In fact I am feeling that way as I write this so I may have to delete this tomorrow when I have put in my 10 hours of solid sleep and dreaming and find this blog entry to be of no real value.

My office these winter days

2006-07-11T16:27:00.000+10:00

My office these winter days, originally uploaded by kymlardner.

Back from Queensland, where it always seems sunny and carefree, to Cold and serious Melbourne. I am resting, doing nothing but restoring my inner emotional energy. It will be required again next month but for now this is my idea of an office... by the fire as it rains, grey and cold outside.

Nicole and June

2006-07-11T15:59:00.000+10:00

Nicole and June, originally uploaded by kymlardner.

While I was away in Queensland an on-line friend of my son Oliver slept in my bed. She praised it's comfort adding that she would put her head on the pillow at night and next thing she knew it was morning. Once again the Dunlopillo Latex wins another fan. My mum and dad also enjoyed it on another occassion as has Oliver while I was away in Tasmania last April. Dad said "I think we used up all the sleep in that bed son" I think that was a compliment about the quantity of rest they got. June flew back to Kwala Lumpa Sunday and told me she never slept on long haul flights. Only 5 feet tall I can't imagin why.

Awaiting a text message.

2006-07-11T15:47:00.000+10:00

Awaiting a text message., originally uploaded by kymlardner.

It's good to be settled back in my cosy home. All that remains of my travels is money in the bank, memories of people I worked with and a few lingering text messages from new friends I made now so far away.

He came in through the bathroom window

2006-07-10T18:05:00.000+10:00

He came in through the bathroom window, originally uploaded by kymlardner.

Oliver often leaves the spare key we hide outside inside after he let's himself in. Then the next time there is no hidden key and he calls me or Maria to let him in. We were both out of town so he amazingly resorted to smashing the toilet window. I say amazingly because when I returned the glass was replaced. Even the Japanese caligraphy was identical. Seems he has done this before at previous abodes. He had another piece of glass cut and replaced it before I got home. Just replacing the outside key in it's place seems a lot less effort to me.

Father & Son

2006-07-07T18:49:00.000+10:00

Father & Son, originally uploaded by kymlardner.

It is so easy to loose my perspective on the lonely road away from the people who really love me. I return home wounded and mixed up. Too many hotel rooms, too many unfamiliar roads and people with fear and suspicion in their eyes. Too many smiles for profit.

That is perhaps why when I meet a pair of sparkling eyes and a warm, safe face I almost melt in gratitude and want to cling to them like I would a rubber life raft in an stormy sea. More on that later.

Oliver seemed so strong when I return after my 3 weeks away. He completed a work deadline with diligence not swayed by temptations to go out and play. He seemed possessed of a very pleasing kindness and empathy. He was a good presence to return home to. Steptoe and Son knew, deep down, their love was secure as an anchor. Thankyou my son.

QPAC

2006-07-07T18:23:00.000+10:00

OPAC, originally uploaded by kymlardner.

Queensland Performing Arts Centre. QPAC. It resembles a WWII German bunker from most angles. This is the most flattering shot I could manage. The sign proclaims that the Festival for 3-8 year olds had arrived. "Out of the Box" is an attempt to provide artistic quality children's performances and free activities using tax payers money and some very high ticket prices. You had to pay $16.50 to see me. Normally I charge $4 in schools. It must be difficult for them to differentiate themselves from the string of Gold Coast theme parks just one hour south. There were sincere parents everywhere seeking a quality experience for their child.

My room at QPAC

2006-07-07T18:10:00.000+10:00

QPAC my room, originally uploaded by kymlardner.

I had a staff to help me set up and an usher to politely show kids to their cushions which, on one occasion, were used as projectiles to pummel me. Apparently the unruly children from a community child care centre had little respect for the arts. Either that or they knew a good projectile when they saw one

Elevator status

2006-07-07T18:08:00.000+10:00

Elevator status, originally uploaded by kymlardner.

"Look Mum my name is on the elevator button"

This label was placed here so my audience could make no mistake as to where to find me. They still couldn't find me because the Queensland Performing Arts Centre QPAC is a confusing building to get around.

my room at QPAC 2

2006-07-07T18:03:00.000+10:00

my room at QPAC, originally uploaded by kymlardner.

You know when you've made it when you see your name up in lights. In the children's entertainment area it's up in cardboard. Notice how someone wet themselves laughing at my show.

My room at QPAC

2006-07-07T18:01:00.000+10:00

my room at QPAC 2, originally uploaded by kymlardner.

I set up these chairs myself. Next day the staff had locked them together with little plastic ties as if because the master had placed them and none shall move. I told them to quickly undo the damn things before an awful accident occured. Mothers need to move and escape when children have had enough. Big institutions do act in a very funny way.

Festival signage

2006-07-07T17:58:00.000+10:00

OPAC signage, originally uploaded by kymlardner.

It's enough to give a guy a big head. Back in Melbourne I decided ego was something to be eliminated like the Buddha instructed. Too late to save me from acting like royalty around the festival. Not that you would notice. For me and my stooping low self image it acted more like a nice balancer. I felt quite important. After all I was making the festival $30,000 in 6 days.

Queensland Performing Arts Centre

2006-07-05T19:26:00.000+10:00

QPAC, originally uploaded by kymlardner.

I'm back in Melbourne after 3 weeks away.

There are many stories to tell and I have now met people in my travels who have told me they read this blog. This is flattering but makes me nervous. Writing about ones life and feelings then meeting people who have that data in their head when you meet them is a new, slightly unsettling experience. No one has used anything against me because that are all lovely people (you know who you are) I have been careful and some information is only for special people I trust. (you also know who you are)

Right.

To start at the beginning. I was paid almost $10,000 to perform for 6 days at the State funded arts centre in Brisbane during a festival for kids 3-8 yo. I felt like a celebrity but I hope I did not behave badly like one. I was assigned a huge dressing room, pass keys to the building by stage door security and had people running around for me.

All this made me dig deep to give the best performances. My audiences often contained more adults than children and as you know they clap for longer to show their approval. I almost felt embarrassed at times when they wouldn't stop.

I have not tallied the numbers yet but out of that 10 grand must come accommodation, airfare, rental car, meals, tax and GST. I damaged the rental car so I’m also down $1800 for that. Initially the Festival offered to pay all these expenses but proposed a low performance fee that I have not worked for in 15 years. I realised they were taking the expenses out of the fee. I was so angry in response that the woman doing the negotiating resigned in horror. I hear Bjork also handles her own business affairs. I wonder if she gets that angry. It does feel like an insult when they try on something like that.

I got the fee I wanted which was $4 per ticket sold ($16.95) but through not knowing my way around Brisbane made some expensive accommodation choices and the hire car sat in the hotel car park all week unused. Costs are the enemy, young self employed readers, and if you can live like a monk you can do better than I who likes my luxury when away from home. Oh well I enjoyed my tax deductions.

Since coming back I have had many schools in Brisbane requesting visits. The festival turned out to be good publicity and it is hard to put an exact dollar value on that. I think it’s good though.

As for bogans! This festival was for the children of motivated and educated parents so I was among like minds. I don’t say it was elitist for there were many free events but I think you know what I’m saying and festivals are often criticized as elitist. My walks around Brisbane streets at night were unsettling but my white leather shoes and under the arm portfolio did not attract the attention I expected. Perhaps I’m the one that is elitist. The meek will inherit the earth and the storytellers will just have to sit and listen for a change. I did my observing and those stories are yet to be told on this blog. I have entertained my sister with a few in Sydney on my way home and she laughed. So will you.

Out of the Box poster

2006-06-10T20:11:00.001+10:00

Out of the Box poster, originally uploaded by kymlardner.

I have to go to Queensland. This will be my last post for 3 weeks. Back here July 3rd with stories to tell. I hope not all bad.

Laptop fantasia

2006-06-10T19:49:00.000+10:00

Laptop fantasia, originally uploaded by kymlardner.

I resent going away these days. I hate leaving my cosy home, my cable TV, my internet. This 3 week trip to Queensland may have some good points but I can't think of any right now. Not one, apart from the money $9000 which will just go to paying off credit card debt anyway. I'd better think of something good about it or it will be agony leaving.
This festival has been annoying to negotiate with too. Normally schools call once, or email twice and ask if I am available then they make a confirmed booking. I don't see or hear from them again till I walk in the front door of their school on the day of the performance. I do my shows and collect a cheque on my way out. What you might call a minimum of fuss. With this festival in Brisbane I received 78 emails. That is 13 per performance day. Plus a few traumatic phone calls. I had to sign a nine page contract, which they breached so they sent me another one. I also had to fly up to help with pre-publicity which did nothing to increase ticket sales as far as I can see. They seem nice people but I really hate the fuss and it is not over yet. On Tuesday I have to go through a fire drill an hour before I have to perform. I sense a giant cock up on the horizon. We will see. Maybe Brisbane has changed since I was there ten years ago. Perhaps guys won't ask me "where's your handbag?" as I walk past them. I thought the place was over run by bogans.

Hogs hair brushes

2006-06-10T00:04:00.000+10:00

, originally uploaded by holysloot.

For oil painting

woh !

2006-06-09T23:57:00.000+10:00

woh !, originally uploaded by kymlardner.

Like Oliver... or at least in spirit

Worthless, dusty books

2006-06-09T23:49:00.000+10:00

Worthless dusty books, originally uploaded by kymlardner.

When I see a book shelf behind an interviewee in any sort of documentary I get a disturbing feeling. Books look to me like such a waste of space now.

Taking up room, getting dusty, heavy to move and mostly untouched from one year to the next.

The internet has made almost every reference book obsolete and who can own every book one needs ? Libraries are deserted because searching the racks after consulting the computer catalogue is just as frustrating as it ever was.

So I am donating my books to charity. All except those with emotional significance or look good as a prop behind me when I am interviewed in any sort of documentary.

Same goes for my Cassettes and CD's. Now that even the most obscure music is available on line why store plastic discs full of songs you don't want?

Life is about to change awfully quickly for all of us in the next few years.

Children’s books may remain as popular as ever because of their big high-res colour illustrations which are speedy to access, require no machine or power supply to view and can be dropped and mildly mistreated yet still work.

I’m still giving them away because in a school library many tiny hands and eyes will enjoy them. At my place they sit untouched.

I will have a lighter life after this cull.

Dinner at home

2006-06-09T23:22:00.000+10:00

Dinner at home, originally uploaded by kymlardner.

I cook... unlike generations of Lardner men.

Couch

2006-06-09T23:21:00.000+10:00

Couch, originally uploaded by kymlardner.

Still missing and I'm going away for three weeks. If they deliver it while I'm away how will I be sure they did what I asked?